what is the cause of stress and anxiety, how do stress and anxiety harm you and how to overcome it

Monday, August 28, 2006

stress and anxiety : HONESTY WORKS

Honesty will reduce anxiety and stress in the long run, but the consideration of whether or not to be honest goes beyond the consequences of this particular communication. Do you try to be good? If so, why would you avoid being honest? And if you do selfish, exploitive things, the concern about whether or not to be honest is moot. What you need to do is live your life so you can be honest. Here are some ideas and aphorisms on honesty to help you:

There is a reason why the needle jumps on a lie detector. Lying is stressful.

How can you be honest until you know how you feel and what you truly want? This self-knowledge requires solitude — time away from others, time by yourself to think without the influence of other people.

Timing is important. Sometimes restraining yourself is the best thing. You'll have to decide by taking time to think.

Keeping silent is better than lying in almost all cases.

And some people will use your honesty against you. Silence is the best option for those people.

To someone who has betrayed your confidence before, you can say, "I'd rather not talk about that."

Sometimes you'll pay a price for your honesty. You have to decide whether it's worth it.

Honesty does not mean giving up your very important psychological right to privacy. It doesn't mean you have to reveal everything about yourself to anyone who asks.

Decietfulness and lying make life stressful and keep you from being close to people.

Most people, at some level, know when you're lying. They won't trust you, and you won't trust yourself.

Lewis Andrews said, "Honest people exude something special from inside that others trust."

Usually, the only people who tolerate deceitfulness for any length of time are decievers.

The basic level of honesty is "not lying or misleading." The next level, for those with whom you want to be close, is openness. Not lying or misleading is for everyone. Being open is for your close relationships.

You have the right to think. Often people try to force you to say something you don't want to say, and under pressure, you lie — almost accidentally. When you feel that pressure, you have the right to say you'll think about it and get back to them.

Dishonesty is a way to manipulate people's feelings and hide your true intentions. Who would want to live that way? Is it fun? Does it make life more enjoyable? Does it help you sleep well at night?

It untangles your life to be honest.

An honest life needs no deceit.

Honesty is necessary to be close.

You can't relax and be yourself if you're pretending and hiding.

In a study by John Gottman, he found in the short term, nice newlyweds were happier, but in the long term, honest newlyweds were happier.

In a close relationship, honesty can cause conflict, but it's not confusing, and problems can be solved. You can't solve a problem if you don't know what it's about. The heart of a persistent problem is something unsaid. Lack of openness causes confusion. Honesty helps things improve over time.

When you're honest, people can sense it and they trust you.

Whenever I focus on being honest — not pretending, openly saying what I want and feel — I become a better, happier, more relaxed person, and I feel closer to people.

Living an honest life makes it a lot easier to have a good relationship, to feel good about yourself and good about your life, and easier to succeed and feel secure at work.

The commitment to not misrepresent yourself — not try to impress, or try to look good — that commitment to be your honest self lowers stress.

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